Hypnotic Thoughts.

Week 7 of The Biggest Loser Teaches Us About the Power of Choice

This week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" was the best one so far.  The theme that emerged in this episode is the most important and powerful concept that the show covers: the power of choice.  It seems like more of the contestants are starting to have breakthroughs and figure out why they're really at the ranch.  Shay started processing with Jillian about growing up with a mom that was addicted to heroin.  Amanda started facing her fear of failure, and how it drives her to be a quitter so that she won't have to face failure.  And Abby seemed to have an epiphany while working out that helped her understand that she was ready to really live life again.

In all three cases, Jillian did a good job of driving home the point with each woman that they had the opportunity to make new choices.  It seems like an obvious point, but it's the one that people understand the least.  Whether it's smoking, or food, or relationships, or finance, the way that you've always done things is really just a series of choices.  Want things to change?  Then start making new and better choices.

People really struggle with this, and I think it's mostly because of conditioning.  Years and years of making the same kinds of choices has a powerful conditioning effect.  We tend to connect the choices we make to our identity.  We don't operate from a daily mindset of, "I engaged in that behavior because I made a choice to do so" but rather from the mindset that, "I did that because that's what I do, because that's who I am."

When you really buy into the idea that each of us is the sum of our choices, then you free yourself up to change who you are by making new and different choices.  Having choice is the greatest freedom one can have.  Some people don't want to have choice because they fear having to be responsible for the outcome of the choice they make, but if you really want to be in charge of your own life, then you have to embrace your own power of choice.

Nobody gets this better than Abby, who lost her husband and two children in an automobile accident.  Her story is the most heart-breaking of all the contestants on this season of "The Biggest Loser."  Abby was voted off the ranch this week, but she was the one lobbying for it to happen.  Her time at the ranch had taught her what she needed, and she felt ready to go home.  Abby now does motivational speaking at high schools, spreading her message to young people.  Amazing.

Each week there's something to learn from watching this show.  If you haven't tuned in yet, it's not too late.  You can watch full episodes from the beginning of the season right up to the latest episode at NBC.com.

"The Fourth Kind" Alien Abduction Movie Uses Hypnosis

Commercials have begun running for an upcoming movie titled "The Fourth Kind" starring Milla Jovovich.  The movie appears to play the same angle as the Blair Witch movie, presenting itself as if it's a documentary when it's really all just a marketing play.  And no, not evil spirits this time, but... wait for it... aliens!

Jovovich play Dr. Abigail Tyler, who is working with people in Nome, Alaska to study sleep patterns.  As she does this, she learns that Nome has an abnormally high amount of disappearances.  She uses hypnosis to regress people back to their earlier experiences, and discovers that they are the victims of alien abductions. Cue the creepy music and the black and white footage!

Since the movie hasn't come out yet, I don't know how hypnosis is portrayed in the film, but hypnotic regression has been used before when working with people who claim to have been abducted.  The most famous case of this is the Betty and Barney Hill case, in which a couple in New Hampshire were allegedly abducted by aliens and recounted their experience under hypnosis.

There seems to be a common misconception about hypnotic regression that people only tell the truth in the process.  This is not the case.  Under regression a person could tell something that they really want to be true, but really they are sharing a fantasy or a false memory.  It's not the same thing as lying; it's the honest sharing of inaccurate information.  This is why regression must be handled very carefully, using an approach that's pretty much forensic in nature.

Regression is a great tool, and it can help people understand past incidents in their lives that have shaped their behavior.  Hopefully this movie will raise people's interest in how hypnosis can be used to help people.

This week's "Biggest Loser" episode a lesson in sabotage.

Another great week on "The Biggest Loser."  This week started off with a challenge.  The blue and black teams raced to dig up hidden items in the sand.  Once they dug up the buried boxes, they got what they needed to unlock a treasure chest, and inside... were plane tickets home!  The blue team got their chest unlocked first, so they won.  Ah, but of course there was a wrinkle.

The blue team got to choose whether they wanted to take the tickets and go home for the week, or if they wanted to give the tickets to the black team and send them home for the week.  No individual choices; the whole team goes, or the whole team stays.  What do you do?  Go home and see your family that you haven't seen in six weeks?  Or stay on the ranch where you've got the structure and support to keep losing weight?

The blue team decided to stay at the ranch and send the black team home.  It was a bittersweet decision for both teams, because everyone understood the trade-off.  So here's the first example of sabotage I saw in this week's episode.  The blue team made a tactical decision to put the black team in a tough position.  They knew that it would be more difficult to lose weight at home than at the ranch, so they took advantage of their position and put the black team in that difficult place.  From a competitive standpoint (remember, this is a competition, not just a reality show) they absolutely played it right.

The second kind of sabotage I saw in this week's episode was much more subtle and subconscious.  So subtle, in fact, that I can't prove it took place, but I'm absolutely sure that it did.  As the camera crews followed the black team members at home for the week, there were several instances in which the contestants were put in difficult situations when it came to food.  The scene with Dina at the restaurant is a great example.  Out with family, the very people who care for her, she was surrounded by huge amounts of greasy food.  Her own husband ate a plate of food the size of her head!  Shay had a similar experience when she went out to eat, as did Amanda while at a cookout. 

As much as the people around us love us and want us to be healthy and safe, there is also always a competing urge that runs subconsciously, and that urge is for things to not change too much.  Shay was clearly the fattest in her friend group that went out to lunch.  What do you think is going to happen if she becomes thinner than them?  There will be a part of them that is genuinely glad for her, but there will also be a part of them that is envious.  This dynamic runs through all relationships, and it can lead to little forms of sabotage.

Another form of sabotage is hidden in love and the desire to comfort those that you love.  Having been gone for six weeks, it's probably safe to say that the contestants' families were glad to see them.  Wouldn't it be normal to welcome a loved one home with some of their favorite comfort food?  Amanda went to a cookout that had barbecued brisket and all kinds of comfort foods.  The food wasn't just there for her, but for everyone, but still, it's a small example of how people create an atmosphere of comfort for the ones they love that can actually contribute to their obesity.  Is it sabotage in the traditional sense?  Of course not, but it still could sabotage the person's success.

Week 6 of "The Biggest Loser" drove home one of the most important messages of the show.  Obesity is not just an individual problem; it's a cultural problem.  Individuals will have a certain level of success when they start to make different choices, but ultimately we all have to change as a culture if we are to be really healthy.

Biggest Loser Week 5

They've been at the ranch for five weeks, now, and enough people had been eliminated so that it was time for some re-organization.  No more partners.  Now there's going to be a blue team and a black team.  How would the teams be chosen?  That's where the drama comes from.

In this week's temptation, they had a big wheel to spin (kind of like Wheel of Fortune), and on that wheel were lidded serving plates.  When a contestant spun the wheel, they revealed whatever was in front of them when the wheel stopped.  If there was a food item in front of them, they had to eat it, but under one of these wheels was a golden ticket, and whoever got the golden ticket got to draft the blue and black teams.

The last time they had a scenario like this, Tracy won the right to pick whose weigh-in would count that week.  She played the situation competitively, angering the other contestants.  So who gets the golden ticket this time?  Tracy, of course!  The other contestants are stunned.  So was I, actually.  Who says lightning doesn't strike twice?

Tracy again makes her decisions from a competitive standpoint, and builds a team around herself that is mostly made up of the people who have been dropping the most weight.  This means splitting up some of the partners who've been together for the first four weeks.  Cue the waterworks.  Liz is deeply hurt that Tracy splits her from Danny.  Amanda is hurt that Tracy takes her away from training with Bob.

This brings up the main idea that this week's episode had me reflecting on.  For all the good they've accomplished so far, these contestants have failed to get to the point yet where they really feel in control of their own destiny.  Regardless of how much weight they've lost so far, and they've all lost quite a bit of weight, many of them still think their success depends on other people.  Liz feels that Danny's support is critical to her success.  Amanda thinks her relationship with Bob is a key to hers. 

When you see your life as constantly depending on outside factors, you don't see your life as something you control.  Yes, outside factors affect us every day, but it is how we respond to those factors, and therefore it is our inner resources, that determine how life plays out for each of us.

Lie to Me Episode Uses Hypnosis in Storyline

The first episode of the second season of "Lie to Me" features a young woman who believes that she has witnessed a murder through some sort of psychic vision.  She approaches Cal Lightman (played by Tim Roth) at his book signing and asks for his help.

Lightman determines that the young woman has multiple personality disorder, and theorizes that one of her more hidden personalities is the one that witnessed the murder.  They decide to use hypnosis to try to get that personality to emerge so they can find out what it witnessed.

Multiple personality disorder is a pretty rare condition, so little is known about it.  Since I don't have a clinical education, I can't comment on it too much, but as a hypnotist I can say that the portrayal of hypnosis in the show was reasonable. 

We take for granted that most of our identity is constructed at the conscious level.  What music we like, what foods we eat, and many other aspects of our personality are driven by years of conditioning.  It's all pretty superficial stuff, really, but it adds up and makes up the bulk of how you live your day-to-day life, so it's also pretty significant. 

However, there's also the subconscious level of the mind that is running behind the scenes, and it has a lot of responsibilities.  It's thinking about things that we aren't even aware of consciously.  It drives a lot of the decision-making that you think is coming from your conscious mind.  So really, it could be argued that we all have multiple personalities.  A conscious one, and a sub-conscious one.

Hypnosis can help the conscious and sub-conscious communicate more intentionally.  It can open a doorway to what we're thinking that we don't even know we're thinking.  Pretty cool, huh?

Women More Attractive When They Mimic Their Dates

Women who participated in a speed-dating event were given instruction on how to mimic their dates.  Other women, representing the control group, did not mimic.  The ones who used the mimic tactics were more likely to have contact info left for them by men, and were rated by the men they spoke with as more sexually attractive.  The social experiment is detailed in this article on the British Psychology Society's website.

Hypnotists and practitioners of Neuro-Linguistic Programming call this kind of mimicking "mirroring and pacing."  It's the art of subtly reflecting the way a person moves, breathes, and speaks back to them when you're having an interaction.  If done properly, it helps you build rapport with the person more quickly and to a greater level.

Want to learn more?  Read the wiki and search for books by Bandler and Grinder.

President Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize. It's all About Influence!

When Barack Obama was running for president, a report was published that broke down the ways he used hypnotic and neuro-linguistic programming skills in his campaign.  Some said it was inappropriate, while others said it was a sensible application of influence skills.  You can read the report here: Download Hypnosis

It's framed as a critical document, suggesting that Obama is unethical in his use of these techniques, but I would argue that these are techniques that have been used by all kinds of people for a long, long time.  These are the skills of influence, and we all want to be influential in our daily lives.  What if President Obama can use these skills to make the world a better place?

It seems that some people think that is what he is doing, as evidenced by his winning of the Nobel Peace Prize today.  Criticized for not having enough foreign policy experience, President Obama apparently is doing something right; the Nobel Peace Prize is not something that's given casually.  You have to admit that the man has an enormous amount of stuff on his plate right now, and he just keeps at it.  I don't always agree with him, but I do believe that he's consistently trying to do what's best for our country.  It will be interesting to see how his critics spin this award and avoid giving him credit for doing good work.

The Biggest Loser: Learning to Put Yourself First

Tonight's episode of The Biggest Loser brought up a great point that many people who struggle with their weight have to deal with.  Up for elimination, Danny said that he didn't want to go home because he didn't feel like he could put himself first at home like he can at the ranch.  It seems kind of obvious in some ways, but it's a really important thing for a person to be able to articulate. 

One reason that people struggle with getting their weight under control is that they often feel like it's selfish to spend time and attention on themselves.  If changing the way they cook means that others in the household have to eat differently, they feel guilty.  If spending time at the gym means spending less time with family, they feel guilty. 

Julio ended up being the one to get sent home, and his follow-up video package illustrated how flawed that kind of thinking is.  He talked about how happy his family is that he has lost weight, and how they support his continued efforts to lose weight.  If we want to be the best parent or partner that we can be, being healthy and available over the long-term for our loved ones is the way to go.

The Client Files: Removing Fear of Snakes

A 45 year-old woman came to me for help with a fear of snakes.  She had been afraid of snakes for many years, and had decided that enough was enough.  This woman owned nine acres of land that had walking trails that led down to the river that ran along her property, yet this woman never used them because she was so afraid that she would come upon a snake and go into a panic.  Her neighbors got more use of her property than she did!

After the standard intake procedure and conversation about what hypnosis is and is not, we proceeded with an induction process, then deepened the trance state.  When the woman showed me the signs I tend to look for that a client is in a good place trance-wise, I gave a series of direct suggestions designed to replace her fear reaction with a natural feeling of regard for any snake that she might see.  I worked at re-creating empathy for any snakes that she would encounter, reminding her that they are simple creatures who just wish to be left alone, and that almost any snake she would ever come upon would be much more afraid of her than she was of it.  If she just gave snakes the healthy, natural respect that they deserve, they would do the same.

I gave these suggestions to the client repeatedly, modifying them each time so that they were framed a little differently, worded a little differently, with the intention of making sure the ideas got communicated several times in as thorough a manner as possible.  When I finished that process I helped the client emerge from hypnosis, de-briefed with her, and sent her on her way.  The results were immediate.  She went home and walked her property without any anxiety whatsoever, and reported that she no longer experienced feelings of anxiety when she saw snakes on TV or in pictures.

There are always multiple ways to approach an issue like this.  Some practitioners will want to regress to cause, helping the client understand what created the fear and then re-framing that experience so they can move forward.  I have done this myself in some cases, but I also think it's valid to just work in the present with clients.  As I've developed my own style, I find myself more and more often taking the approach of staying in the present.  Help your clients re-shape their thinking, help them understand and buy into the idea that they have resources and strengths, and let them get moving forward. 

I don't think it matters which approach you use, but it matters why you're using it.  Having a sound philosophical approach that guides your practice is important.  And you can depart from that approach from time to time if you have good reason.  What matters is that you do what you do for a reason, not because some manual or script says you should.

PDF for NGH Webinar Visitors

Thanks so much to everyone who listened in at the webinar today.  I'm sorry we had a few technical glitches, but it was still fun to spend time with you.  Here's my slide presentation in pdf format, for anyone who wants to review it further.  Download UsingBlogs